Transforming a home (family setting) into a household:

Cain:

In every home, there is a Cain (the Narcissistic genetic traits) that seeks to uphold, to compete, to find fault, to argue, to show the traits of jealousy with the aim of feeding its selfish ego.

Abel:

But also in a setting of a home, there is also an Abel (the genetic traits) which are more receptacle towards the positive moral structure which has the ability to uphold, to exchange, to give, to upgrade and pass on the positive moral values and inheritance of  a family,

Bringing them from a household environment, so that he may share them with his community, and also pass them down to the next generation.

The role of parenthood:

Parents (male and female) are supposed to nurture, protect, Cultivate, teach, innovate, motivate, reward, provide security for the positive family traits,

so that the Abel type of attitude is strengthened to be able to inherit and extend the family values and positive inherited genetic traits into their next generation.

Children are raised by a cooperative team-work of positive role models:

Hold discussions that are honest with each other (with the well-wishers of the family), concerning the weaknesses of your home, with the aim of finding positive solutions to solve them…

Analyze and observe the genetic traits of your children or family members:

Positive traits:

Parents need to observe and also nurture the children’s character which is selfless.

The selfless type of characteristics which contains an attitude of serving,

and engaging in those things in the family setting, which contributes toward the well being of others.

Attributes like:

Generosity, caring, love, unity, teamwork, barter exchange, faithful with the home economics, willing to lend, support and give into the solutions that solve the needs which sustain the vision of a household.

Negative traits:

The narcissistic traits which are always seeking for praise, always in opposition, argumentative and looking for the spotlight of attention, such attitudes must be avoided, given no attention, corrected and also rebuked.

Because when one fails to do the right thing, it will also affect the whole family as a result…

This is Cain:

Always looking for ways to skip doing the home activities of teamwork.

Always complaining, expressing the attitude of jealousy, and finding it hard to rejoice when others are complimented.

Whenever a compliment, gift, birthday celebration is given to one of the members in the family,

the narcissistic attitude begins to seek for ways to compete rather than complimenting the person who is being celebrated.

Using the attitude of throwing tantrum, so that he/she may achieve the goals which upholds one’s selfishness and arrogance.

In the moment when a family gathering is speaking about a person’s achievements, that is when the narcissistic attitude begins to proclaim out loud by expressing his/her talents, speaking about his achievements to divert the attention in the room to him/herself…

The narcissistic attitude will always seek for love, but in away which condemns, gossip, exposes other people’s weaknesses,

so he/she may justify his argument why he deserves to be loved more than the person that is competing with.

The narcissistic attitude does not want to find positive solutions to solve disagreements,

But they always want to use those disagreements to disqualify and character assassinate others….

What is the solution?

Create an environment in the home which rewards, amplifies, compliments, and celebrates the good which is being done in your home.

And also find constructive ways of explaining why they are being rewarded.

Because if clear measurements of rewarding those who do good are not very well explained, protected and justified,

Then the people who are rewarded, are being put into a risk zone of being assassinated by the narcissistic character in the family.

Find out what the word household means, clicking on this link.

Article written by Apostle Ngabo for know Yourself website.